Winter is here, friends. And the abrupt temperature changes in the Northeast along with the memory of recent winters past has made me seriously consider moving to a tropical island. But I have vowed to make this year different. Because this winter, I recognize that in order to get through it, I must prioritize experiences of joy with others.
Speaking of collective joy, the timing of the upcoming holidays seem to be rather strategic. Why else do we have these celebrations scheduled for the darkest and coldest times of the year? We need these moments of being part of something bigger than ourselves and being with people we love so that we can face whatever harsh weather may be ahead. But the holidays can also feel forced and lonely. It is hard to feel joyous when you are pretending that everything is fine when it is indeed not.
So what if we did not have to pretend? What if we could hold space to accept the pain that we are all carrying and to allow for the joy of being together? Seems counterintuitive I know, but I would argue that real joy cannot be felt without acknowledging the pain that is there. You just can’t get to joy without going through the pain, there is no going around it.
This duality of joy and pain shows up in many of our more compelling shared experiences. Plays, movies and music usually capture struggle and sadness in a way that is unparalleled. These meaningful experiences are not always easy, but they do create a collective feeling of joy in doing them together.
This makes me reflect on some of the most powerful programs I have facilitated, all of which had some element of pain and joy. I see consistently that when people are brave enough to share some of their struggles, they soon realize that most people around the table have gone through something similar. This acknowledgement of collective pain does not take away from the joy of the experience, it actually creates the connection that allows for it to be deeper.
So this holiday season let us lean into the joy of being together but also allow for the pain that may accompany our guests. Let’s stop striving for the Hallmark card and instead nurture spaces of authenticity. Because I would bet that the places where we get to be ourselves together are in fact the most joyous ones.
So what brings you joy? And what collective experiences do you find to be the most meaningful? How do we carve out time for joy when life seems just too busy to allow for it? And in a world with a whole lot of pain, how do we provide more opportunities for collective joy?
Our Next Virtual Gathering’s theme is: Joy
Please join with a beverage or food of your choice and a story about a food that brings you joy.
When: Community Brunch Pod - Thursday, December 8th, at 1PM ET / 10AM PT
Virtual Gathering - Thursday, December 8th, at 8PM ET / 5PM PT
How: Sign up here. Zoom details will be sent on the day of the event.
Cost: $20 to secure your spot (Venmo @communityincontext)
In other news, I recently started doing a version of in-person Lunch Pods that includes preparing a dessert together before sitting down for a facilitated meal. So if you are looking to cultivate a little joy with your work community this holiday season or in the New Year, please get in touch!